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they kept telling me
my sadness isn't beautiful
as if i don't already know this.
but sometimes,
when it is all i have
i could only hope it was.

I was the coffee and you were wine,
I wanted to stain your favorite white
shirt and wreck it, 
the way you got me too drunk
to count constellations in my sleep.
I want your silhouette to stop
burning through the back of my eyelids,
for these echoes taking over my head
to stop sounding like voices screaming at me
every 3am.
Lately, sunsets have been looking at me with sad eyes;
they seem to tell me
I’ve seen enough of them in a lifetime.
Maybe someday, I will stop you from passing through my lips like a ghost,
how often your name seems to find its way
in between these short, hollow breaths.
I don’t need you anymore, 
at least
not in the way the horizon breaks
and makes way for the sun
to give meaning to another day.
Back then, I thought
they should have songs written about you
but now, not really.
You deserve broken proses,
and bitter coffee.

singapore photo diary 2013

Well, here it is. A travel entry. Granted I have traveled before, but never alone, and most certainly never to this extent. Nonetheless, I am quite happy to share my tale with all the adventures and small adventures in between and hopefully, this won't be the last.

To be honest, I don't know how to fit everything that happened to me into one entry, but I will do my best.

In Singapore, I have tasted real Kopi (yay! been obsessed with this coffee since I had it in Orchard Road, Megamall) and tried out some food I've never had before (the dollar street icecream, some egg tarts in China Town, this Singaporean treat called 'Ping wafers', and the best ramen I've ever had to date in Ramen House). I tripped over pavements while walking, even almost jay walked at a street once (people looked at me like I was a ten foot slug but I had sense knocked to me after one point five seconds), got lost countless times (which led me to the most interesting places but more on that later) and grew so tired that I felt like my legs were about to fall off at the end of the day.

I met backpackers in the place I stayed. One of my roommates came from Malaysia and went to Singapore on a whim via train, and we ended up swapping stories until 3am. I also ended up making friends with a vendor on Bugis street, who told me funny stories about her Singaporean friends. People in Singapore are so nice, polite and friendly; strangers smile at you when you pass by, they go out of their way to help you when you are lost, they recommend you places to go to, things to do and food to try.

The truth is, in this trip, I have confirmed what I've always known all along: that the world is so much bigger than what I always get to see, that there is still so much out there that I have yet to know. This realization only added to my strong desire to keep traveling. The trip was filled of firsts: first time to ride a plane alone, first time to check in on my own, etc, etc. Maybe it's because I was filled with a certain first-trip-out-of-the-country-alone high, but I think this trip has exceeded most of my expectations. (Or maybe, you know, I'm just being biased because of freedom and all that). Aaaand now I am rambling. I shall stop.

Now on to some of the photos.

Singapore has the loveliest, quietest mornings.







The Buddha Tooth Relic Temple and Museum in China Town was one of my favorite stops. It has a hundred Buddha statues inside, each with their own madras (hand signs) and Buddhist accessories.

Brass doorknob by the gates, which reminded me of Hogwarts for some reason.












I got lost. Terribly. Horribly. But it ended up okay, as I passed by the Sculpture Square and it was just my luck that there were art exhibits that week from Singapore art students! (Instagram)



Photo slides.

Being lost led me to a lot of places, including this this quaint, indie cafe. It's discovering places like these that make long walks in Singapore so fun and adventurous! (Instagram)

Marina Bay Sands is so lovely.

Esplanades, Theatres by the bay. It was very beautiful. (But according to my friend Kisty, it looks like durian)

Finally got to see Merlion, Singapore's treasured and well known symbol, for myself! I imagined him smaller for some reason, so I was very surprised to see his majestic self towering over establishments nearby.

(When traveling alone, you have no one to take your photos so you have to settle for mirror selfies)

It was a long trip to get to the Chinese and Japanese Gardens  but the views made it worthwhile. 
If only the sun didn't hate me so much, this would've been a glorious stop.
(Dear Mr. Sun, the feeling is very, very mutual)









Mailboxes on a random townhouse we passed by.

Orchard Road celebrates the holiday cheer like no other street I've ever been on. All the displays and lights got me even more excited for Christmas!























Adorable little kid watching the fountain.





Untitled
Instagram photos in Singapore (Instagram)
  1. Agendas in Singapore
  2. Red Dot Traffic Design Museum which featured designs from corporate to advertising to kitchenware and gadgets all around that garnered the prestigious Red Dot Design Award over the years.
  3. Utmost fondness over train stations.... (unlike ours)
  4. Singapore City Gallery, which blew my mind one way or another.
  5. Yet another obligatory mirror selfie, because I was alone in this corner at Dhoby Gaut Station.
  6. Kinokuniya. I have left a piece of my heart with you.
  7. Cups N Canvas cafe, which I'm glad Kisty helped me find, because this is one of the places that was originally on my itinerary list.
  8. In Youth Park near Orchard Road, before I went thrift shopping.
  9. And the real agenda behind cafe hopping in Singapore (besides writing): to work on my Wreck It Journal.

What did I do in Singapore?

  • Walked around. A lot.
  • Visited parks, art museums, galleries, and temples.
  • I also tried to learn the art of making tea in Tea House (which, unfortunately, I wasn't able to document but the experience was etched to my brain)
  • Went library and cafe hopping. I love that Singapore is filled with so many intimate, indie cafes! I wish I stayed longer to attend this poetry reading event at Artistry.
  • Got lost. A lot. But I also ended up stumbling upon places like the Japanese Character Display at Nanyang Academy of Fine Arts (I ended up on the Art Students District in Singapore and I have no idea how and why), in this building in Selgie Road where I saw lots of dance major students doing rehearsals in their studios, and Sculpture Square gallery block. I also saw La Salle College of Arts (insert dramatic sigh, because dream school)
  • I think getting lost was sort of a blessing, since aside from stumbling upon great places, I also ended up on Saint Andrew's Cathedral, which is one of the most beautiful Catholic churches I've ever seen.
  • Wrote. A lot. I think this was the most important thing that I did, as I seemed to have forgotten my way with words over too much routine for the past months. 
  • Went crazy in Mint Museum of Toys, which if I had the patience, I would upload all photos in here to show everyone.
  • I did not shop in Orchard Road, no, but I did, however, ended up buying some stuff over thrift stores near Orchard Road.
  • Flailed and fangirled and felt like Alice lost in beautiful, wonderful, Wonderland in Kinokuniya.
  • Have I mentioned that I left my heart and soul in Kinokuniya?
  • My skeletons will lie in Kinokuniya forever.
  • Had a lot of realizations.
With this, I was itching to book a flight to my next destination the moment I got home. I am too excited for the days to come!
and in the rocking ship we lay,
back and forth against each other
we explored the horizons in the best ways
we could muster,
as though they were maps to the skies
while our worlds collide.
i felt the warmth of the sheets consume
us both
as we drown the echoes of love and hope,
i trace the freckles and imagine them as constellations
i count the colors in your eyes
and i sigh as you pulled me closer
and unmasked my own disguise
and i know that i love you
more than the rays of the sun,
more than the sweetness of chocolates on a sad day,
more than the cups of coffee you make me every morning,
more than the days that led to this,
more than the life i call my own.